You Have Always Had the Power.

 

     The Redmond House will always be home to me.

Anyone who knows me knows that I loved it there and I speak about it often with such heartfelt memories. I loved that the kitchen stretched the whole distance of the house. I loved that the dining room was nestled behind an 80 foot window where you could sit while watching the squirrels play. I loved the living room was just the right amount of space for my cat, Midnight and I to lay on the floor together, watch t.v. while enjoying the cozy fireplace that held the tea kettle that had a slightly rusted ring on the bottom, worn but still served us the hottest of water for the best hot chocolate anywhere within hundreds of miles. I love there was a huge carport with a "shed/garage" that was the serious work place of my Grandfather where the wheel barrow leaned against the entering wall just waiting to catch any tool that leapt from its resting place between the two carefully placed nails. Other then that fact of its whole existence and those whole lived there, my favorite place in the entire home would have had to have been ... *drum roll ... My Bedroom. Yup! My Bedroom. I am sure to most it was just a typical same old same old to everyone else but to me it was everything! Within those wall were everything that I was. Everything I was becoming and everything someday I would be. I was a cheerleader. A singer. A photographer. A designer and a Make up artist. I was in charge of my own destiny. I was my own boss. I owned it. I loved it. As within life it was something that changed often bringing different vibes each time. And each time My Grandparents went along with my growth letting me thrive into what would set the design for my living space today.

     Anyone that came by our house would always want to stop by my door for a little chat and peek inside to indulge in my Willy Wonka type of thoughts. It wasn't crazy for my room to be boxed in deep blue walls with posters of Indians dancing across them (a shout out to the Cherokee in me). Other time they were bright Lemon yellow with a poster of myself and best friend peeking out while a huge spun glass globe twirled casting in a "Good Morning Star Shine" light. That is until it fell hitting the corner of my desk and completely shattering all over the hardwood floor beneath. Note to self: Ya. Should have listened to Grandpa when he was hanging it letting me know it wasn't such a great idea. Then we moved into the all tannish walls with my Wrestling phase. That being a favorite for sure. Shelves were hung over the bed and many framed pictures of my favorite guys sat there waiting to say Hello as I entered and see ya later as I left. 
     At one point I was all "I wanna be a Gypsy type" and was so excited to paint my room a pastel pinkish, putting my mattress on the floor with a small lamp beside so I could "act" like I was reading when I really wasn't. I could just see it. Colorful beads hanging all around. Lights strung from this corner to that. Incense burning. The flicker from a candles glow leaving shadows on the wall calling out "Name Me."

     So, we got the room painted and as it was drying, my Grandparents decided I was going to Seattle for the weekend. I didn't know why I was going and I sure didn't want too. I just wanted the room to not be so wet so I could get my bed on the floor but my Grandfather insisted. He convinced me that the room would be there when I got back and at which point the paint would fully be dry then the decorating could start. I shrugged my shoulders, packed my clothes and got into the car. All the way there I kept thinking, I guess he is right after all there is this guy I like there and well, okay, the room could wait a few days. Come Sunday when it was time to head back home my stomach was doing such flip flops that I could hardly contain myself. Thoughts flashing in my head accompanied with a little ditty "I get my room. I get my room." Little did I know, I really was gonna get my room. I glided in the front door and headed straight around the corner to My Sanctuary. I reached for the gold door knob, as I started to turn it My Grandfather called me towards the kitchen. Seriously? I just wanted to go to my space. My. Space. I walked out to see what he wanted but it turned out to be some non-sense babble. Okay! Back down the hall and I was there. Look out World. I am just about "home." I pushed the door open a bent down to grab my clothes. Standing back up I couldn't believe my eyes. If anyone tells you that something shocking them has or could make them pass out they are telling the truth. I repeat "IT IS NOT A LIE!" The Princess pink walls of the empty room I left behind were just that ... left behind, left behind like that of my soon found but lost again gypsy spirit. I walked forward towards my Grandmother who was sitting in the middle of my floor but not on the hardwood by my feet but rather ON a King Arthur style bed. On each side of it were two sculpted night stands that matched the headboard and the rest of the furniture perfectly. One of the stands held a lamp while the other held a new alarm clock radio and a small vase of flowers. On the other wall was the longest dresser I have ever seen or hoped to see in my lifetime. It had 12 drawers and a mirror on the back of it so big that I could see 1/2 of town. The other dresser that went with everything else was close to 6 feet tall had three drawers, the top facing me opened like a cupboard. The walls were still plain. Baby Pink. Yet the covering on the bed was white, white with almost a rainbow colored butterfly stamped around 40 times in different spots. It wasn't to much or to little. The white lace that hung from the bottom was the same lace that incased the pillows that laid on the top. The curtains that were hung matched. Sheer lace with just the right amount of butterflies. All I could think of was: What gives? I wanted to be a Gypsy. I didn't even like butterflies. My Grandmothers scream of "SURPISE!" snapped me back to reality real fast. I just stood there. My Grandfather's head peeking in the door, "Is it to much? Do you like it?" Before I could answer my Grandmother said "We sent you to Seattle so we could go get all this stuff for your new room. We had Les (the neighbor) man help so it would be done in time." All I heard out of that was "Your New Room." That's right. MY room. I smiled and thanked them both before the door shut again. I sat on the edge of the bed while tears stained my eyes. Not because they had done this for me but because they had done this for me. I hated it. Loathed it! I didn't want it. Take it back my heart screamed. Take It Back! The days slowly passed while I had to sleep and wake up in this hideous place. The more and more friends and family members that told me how lucky I was made me feel the less luckiest person in the Universe. I think the straw was broke in half, spit up and chewed out when Cousin Willie came to see it exclaiming "I expected to see a Knight in the corner - slowing making eye contact with all the peasants coming and going." Oh Lord! Is that what people thought? I wasn't cool? I didn't belong here? More weeks passed, Summer came marching in real strong that year. The heat was unbearable to anyone breathing. I finally opened the "prison's" window before going off to grab something to drink. Tiny steps I told myself. The longer it takes to reach the fridge the longer it will take to get back to ... I didn't even know what to call it anymore. I could only walk so slow though eventually making it back to the room. I walked inside and ... Wait. The little butterflies that were frozen on the lace seemed to be blowing in the cool breeze. The room smelled of Jasmine and Sunflowers. I sat down enjoying it for a moment forgetting where I was. A jolt ran through my body as I looked to my left and there was a squirrel sitting next to me. What in the World? I ran to get a handful of nuts. He waited. I returned with his Winters meals. As he broke a few opened and nibbled away, I spoke to him "What are you doing here?" Answering my own question, I knew he had come through the window. But of all the place on our whole street I just wanted to know why it was my window he chose? It seemed no matter what I asked him, he didn't answer. He just kept chewing faster and faster. After he was done, he took the one last nut remaining and jumped back to the window. He paused turning to look at me and then I swear he smiled and winked as if to let be know he would be back. 

     That night as twilight begun to fall, I went out of my room before dinner to see if I could help with anything. I knew I owed my Grandparents a hug for giving me the best room in the whole World. I knew I needed to thank them again for loving me the way they did, how much they did, how it was unconditional. I loved my room. I loved everything about it. All things inside matched perfectly and as I got into bed that night it was like I was The Princess NOT the Gypsy I was trying to be but the Real Princess I Was and I could not have been anymore thankful OR happy about that trip to Seattle that was sent on so spontaneously.

                                                                      Kazz 💋