Hey Nana - it's Me again.

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    I wrote this awhile ago but now in the wake of losing *Anne Heche - it somehow just appeared again and I thought: Is this a sign? What the heck? I might as well put my fingers to work, sharing - leaving a message. You know? Just in case it is. 

     Even though minutes melt into hours, hours turn into days and days crash into years - missing something or someone is a hurt that never really goes away. A void never filled. In my opinion it just doesn't ever get any easier no matter how many people try to convince you it does or will.
     I don't believe it is ever much of just that but more of a tiny hope inside that maybe just for a moment, longing to freeze time to where you can begin to heal or at least try to even though it has been, always will be in vein. 

     With so much to get done today, the weekend, it was only fitting to go out "joy riding" as one of my kids insist on calling it. Shailah, Myself, Lucee' and because we were watching Habby this weekend, all piled into Yetti the Jetti driving to a place that we really hadn't stopped to visit since last Autumn. The trails lead to no where in particular. Just a loop back into another but that was alright , we really had no destination in mind. The sun was warming yet cool enough with the slight breeze to just enjoy a quick moment. The light shining off the water, the pound, the puddle brought a calm over me - promising me that the love I once knew was still inside me - reminding me it always would be. Turtles basking in the soon to be Summer heat made me stop for a split second, staring. A smile washing over me. Through me.

     The trek continued as our short steps turned into longer ones. Some happiness rocks were found along the way. I believe an Easter egg with a face? That tiny glob of paint was the first to be stumbled upon today. The first from this outing to be added to our ever growing collection of things we really had no use for and really didn't need but always seemed to immensely enjoy none the less.  
     It was in the very second that I need you the most.  It was in that very second I knew you were with me. I could see your reflection in the sunlight. I could hear your voice in the birds song, I could smell your scent in the wild flowers. Your excitement filled me full of content.

     I miss you so much!
I know you know that though - as the time stands still before me.


                                                                                                                                                               Kazz 💋

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