Steven Tyler, Vanilla Cookies & Cheers.

                                                                "Hangin' around (with) nothin' to do but frown
                                    Rainy days and Mondays always get me down."

     Here it is - my life: typical Monday (night) just getting off work. Again.

I am tired. After not working for a week - the back to the grind has hit me like a mac truck going sideways in a snow storm up a hill in the middle of Summer. Yes. I did say that.

     The rain is pounding against the window. Somehow there is a wind warning in effect for tonight into tomorrow. Shurree' is staying again. The kids are all up and running wild like Warrior would do headed to a Main Event event. The television is way to loud for being this late and somehow, just somehow - we ran out of garbage bags again.

     Leaning back in my chair - I take in my room - spinning around me.
Bees to the left of me. Bees to the right of me. I am the Queen!

I  "adopted" the title from my Grandmother. She was always called that, that and Big Red - that I can not "steal" as my hair is anything but. 

     I miss her. I miss her so much. I always took for granted the time I had with her.  I never felt like it was to little - sometimes I did feel like it was a little much though but as I have come to have children of my own, I fully understand and am so grateful how deeply that woman always loved me.

     One of my daughters "friends" are going through some stuff right now. Things that I can't even grasp my thoughts around - just handling things so wrong. As my daughter finished talking to her this afternoon on the phone, she hung up and made some ridiculous comment about how she can't go to her mom because her mom does nothing but make snide comments about what is going on. I will not say that I apologize because I don't - I stand behind her mom. That woman has every right to say what she thinks and feels to her own child. My kid then got upset and said that she just wants to be able to come to me and get understanding but most of the time I say "snide" things too so she just talks to her friends.

I let her know that I have every right to say how I feel about her "being less then smart" in  a situation because being her mom it is my job to do so. I also let her know that she might not like it now but she will understand when it comes her turn.

     When I made my choice to become a mom that is a choice that I made forever. Not just in the good times but in the bad too. I know that my kids know I always have them when they need me and I will do whatever it takes to "get to them" when they call my name. Even when they get mad at me for putting APBs out on them for not answering - or contacting all their friends while over-reacting as they would call it.

     It is what Cool Moms do and I will keep doing it until I cant any longer and that is something they can thank their Great Grandmother for.

Christmas seemed to arrive so slowly - then depart so quickly. 
     Love is in the air - Valentines day is within the blink of an eye.

My gifts were interesting this year. In a wonderful way though. I received so many things.
     I love them all yet the best was time. I am always so grateful for another day - another moment. Yes, I complain about having to wash the dishes after a huge feast - with no help from anyone, yet little flashes of being able to enjoy hot food makes up for the back pain of leaning over the sink playing in soap. Yes, I get angry about things being spilled on the floor but then I remind myself that at east I have a house, a place my kids can always come home to. It is a million little things that make the Season so beautiful - I am okay with it being 364 days until the multi colored paper fills the air in a repeat style with flash's of color while kids scream in delight and cider tops get popped.

     I am tired. I just want to finish sipping my (not) so Iced Espresso Pumpkin Spice Latte - eat a few Peppermint Chocolate Lindor treats and call it a night - yet I don't feel that will be happening any time soon - a movie just started - someone pushed play and ... que the out of control, walls shaking laughter.

                                                                                                                            Kazz 💋