The snow turned i(N)t(0) rain ...

                                                        "We drank a toast to innocence. We drank a toast to now.
                                            We tried to reach beyond the emptiness but neither one knew how."

The night has closed around me once again. The twelve o'clock hour shall soon strike. 

A single candle lights through the darkness - giving shimmer to the raindrops that pound against my bedroom window through the fierce winds that direct them. 
The house is quiet for a moment. Jake, Shailah & Oakley sleep while Lucee' sits in the Livingroom watching and re-watching "less then worthy" YouTube videos.

     The tree that brings the whole atmosphere together in holiday magic sits in the center of everything. Every bulb and Every red 'n white striped sweet - hangs perfectly - calling for a round of Noel. Each ornament telling its own story. Having its own moment of glory. Friends Coffee cups, Ariel, Yoda, Cat Paws and Grandkids. All the years behind me and all the years a head of me are all intensified within 6 feet of greenery.

I am at peace right now. I don't get that often so with Ozzy going off the rails - I am content and well, that makes me content. It is the silences like this that a lot of the time I crave the most.

My days are filled with yelling, kids, customers, quick hands and dragging hours. Most nights, breaks are just a thought made up in my mind. 

     *Note to self: Change that in the coming year.

After much hoping, I am happy to announce that I finally received the snow that I have been wanting so long for. It came on suddenly - at least for Washington State it did. Something we are not used to and certainly not at the end of November.
     Pulling my glasses up to pier outside - there is still remains of the marshmallow-y white stuff even though it has now turned to rain - the ground remains a yesterdays smile.

     The snow also brought me a week of being out of work. Not because I couldn't get there but because the "house" came down with the flu. Starting with Lucee' and her 104* temperature - it quickly chased the rest of us. The aches a pains still going strong after 6 days. The first two nights I didn't do so good with the fever and upset stomach. The 3rd night was better but the cough set in and has decided to linger much longer then ever wanted. My ribs now feel as though I lost a loser leave town match - with my yesterdays easy breathing. Though I no longer need to keep a bottle of ibuprofen in hand - it sits at bedside "just in case." 

     The good new is: I seen a dog today *insert winky face

Really though ... I am able to taste coffee again. I did not and repeat did NOT stop drinking it even though it had no flavor. I continued to down it as I am no quitter there. 

I am still finding myself getting exhausted about 9pm and understand why older people enjoy their sleep so much.  I also understand the statement that time doesn't slow down for anyone. I feel like it has now just started to pick up this crazy amount of speed - kind of like the time I was riding the bike down the hill with no breaks - I just hope when it does calm down for a moment it won't feel like it did when I slammed into the back of the bus.

     No sympathy needed: I haven't even finished a slight part of my Christmas shopping yet.

With work and being sick on top of it, I really haven't came across the time. I will get it done though. I will. I just don't know how all the festivities became less of a joy and more of a chore. Today, while wrapping gifts I found myself saying that out loud. I would always spend so much time with the perfect bows, the 6 inch ribbon curls (6 inches) and the two candy canes making a heart - on the top of packages. It isn't like that anymore. Now it is the paper tearing, the bows not matching and the tape sticking to itself.

     Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with me at all? Maybe it is the rest of the World? Everything is so commercial now. Like slow down. Where are you Christmas? It has all turned into a hurry up and buy - life. Valentines Day stuff it already being pushed. Snoopy didn't understand it and neither do I. One day at a time sounds real good to me. 

I can't figure out how the kids today will ever know or feel the magic of those years gone by. The window shopping in the snow. The lighting of The Bon Star or waving at Santa sitting behind the department store glass.

     Growing up there was no way of not believing when you closed your eyes on Christmas Eve - smelling sugar cookies baking, hearing reindeer hooves on the roof top, jingle bells jingling - waking up to the World outside covered in white and package after package under the tree glimmering in red, green and gold.

                                            When families didn't "fight." 

                           When there was Peace On Earth & Heaven & Nature Sang.


                                                                           Kazz 💋

It is almost time to Celebrate the coming of a New Year but like most things: that will have to wait -

I can say though that I am still checking daily - to see if Kirstie Alley gaining her wings was just a hoax.
& I think I will be checking for a long, long time to come.